Last Chemo

Today is my last chemo treatment! As I am sitting here receiving this medicine my heart is fighting a battle. You would think I would be overwhelmingly happy but I am struggling with fear. What if the cancer has spread? What if it isn't over? I am so scared to rejoice. Fear is a deep pit built by Satan to stop Christians in their tracks. My hope is that God works through this cancer in a mighty way but fear can and has stopped it. I know that fear will be a huge battle for me probably for the rest of my life because this cancer could come back at any time, but oh what hope we have! God is so big and mighty! He is sufficient and as long as I keep my eyes on the Lord and focus on His Word I am not afraid. This ride has been full of spiritual highs and lows. God has pulled me out of every pit and lifted me up. He has been so patient and loving with me.
A good friend of mine encouraged me to hand write all the versus about fear that I could find in the Bible and today while taking my last treatment I did and this verse calmed my fears and eased my soul. Exodus 14:3, "And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew unto you today, for the Egyptians whom ye have seen today, ye shall see them again no more forever." Before this verse I couldn't understand how the Jewish people were so fickle and constantly doubting God after he had blessed them so and showed them such miracles but now I see that I have the same problem. I now understand that fear is the root sin and causes you to not wait and trust in the Lord. So I am going to fear not and stand still and wait on my Lord. I pray that just like God delivered the Jewish people from the Egyptians and said they will never again see them, he will deliver me from this cancer so much so that I will never again see it. Praise the Lord for his Word it is full of peace and truth.
I am entering a new phase in my cancer treatment. I start radiation in few weeks along with more PET and CT scans to see if it has spread. I am also going to have a hysterectomy to lower the amount of estrogen that my body produces. Please pray that God will give me wisdom in all the decisions I am having to make as well as strength to get through this new chapter. I want to praise the Lord for carrying me through chemo and surgery. In every way he has provided even unto abundance.